This is absolutely the greatest thing ever, from start to finish, check out the gorgeous old guy jumping up with his home film camera to catch the moment, the young couple with the binoculars, look how totally relaxed and carefree the group is (compare to the clip from London five years later, in the previous post), Judith radiantly joyous and confident, at home at the Bowl, it’s pure Australia, wonderful, wonderful Melbourne, wonderful Seekers, wonderful song of my childhood!

Sidney Myer Music Bowl, c1964


The Seekers’ farewell concert, London, 7 July 1968

I can’t seem to get my sleep now any old night
Mr Sandman passes by my door
Life has changed since you’re been there to say it’s alright
You taught me to understand what I thought couldn’t be -
Don’t mind missing sleep if I can see

Colours of my life, you’ve got love to fill my heart
I don’t need a rainbow with colours of my life

Colours blend with love to show I’m happy with you
I can never be the same again
Now my eyes are looking past the life that I knew
I’ll be shedding black and grey to take on red and blue -
Colours I can feel like touching you

Colours of my life bloom like flowers in my heart
Loving you has shown me the colours of my life

According to ‘the argument from the intelligibility of the world’ as outlined in the appendix to this novel, ‘one ends up with the universe, and nothing but the universe: a universe which itself provides all the answers to all the questions one can pose about it’.

‘… it is the sensuous connection to the present moment that sets you free from the illusion of the external world. Awareness of the body is a field of knowingness in which you grow. The hidden key to consciousness lies through not against, around or avoiding the body. The wisdom of the body often lies just under the radar of your busy thoughts, remaining steadfast in its truthfulness. If choppy ocean of your mind settles down, there is no truth you cannot feel just under the surface of your skin.’

Thanks

I choose my emotions.

I’m returning to Australia with less money in hand than I had when I came to Hong Kong. (Thankfully, I still have no debt.) I didn’t make my fortune here as planned, with my old frugal, solitary life in Mo Tat Wan and commuting and working hard at a lucrative, unpleasant, draining job from 6am to 8pm. Instead a miraculous new life has unfolded. I’ve learned to accept love and have had a wonderful time. I was able to travel and have fantastic experiences, live well in a nice house and give hospitality, invest in my growth and wellbeing, and I have two beautiful dogs and a gypsy wagon. I’ve lived on a beautiful, natural, peaceful island that has given endless pleasure. What I’ve learned and experienced in these two years gives me riches far better than money in the bank and I believe that, with the stability and contentment of a better emotional outlook on life, I can gradually improve my level of savings too. All is in balance and I am so grateful and amazed at what life has given me. One day at a time things have happened as they should.

On Saturday I went for another walk up Ling Kok Shan by the steep north path, and down the concrete steps to the east, then around through Mo Tat Wan back home. It took about two and a half hours. My feet were sore afterwards – only because of the concrete steps and paths, not the climb itself.

When I got to the top, the russet brown and rich green foliage in late afternoon sun, the breeze cold on sweaty skin, Hong Kong island lying fully exposed in pale milky blue, cargo ships lying at anchor to the south of Lamma, waves crawling into the beach at Tung O, gave me the feeling of a grand love affair or a classic story that you read and never want to end; of being in unity with all places and all times. I looked down to where the sea was meeting the rocks and the tumbling verdure at a cove out to the east between Mo Tat Wan and Tung O, and felt that I hope (and maybe expect) that I will see that sight again in my mind’s eye when I am dying.

It was blissful, and tonight in recalling it I realise again that bliss is everywhere, always, waiting for me to let myself experience it.

‘If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is, infinite.’ William Blake

1 April 2008

I am stuck and have been for years and years. My life is going by and things are not getting better. I feel completely out of place here. I dont know how to recover from here and get back (or forward) to something real and good, although there must be clues somewhere. I try to think of times when I feel strong and creative. Independent and secure. It is very hard to remember anything like the latter two. It is hard, though a little easier, to remember something like the former two. I am failing at work. [...] Things are not good. It’s hard to get past these considerations, even though I know that self-involvement is death, and I hate it. I want to be better than this. But today I feel pretty profoundly hopeless about my ability to recover from this position.

space travel’s in my blood there ain’t nothing i can do about it
long journeys wear me out but i know i can’t live without it

passion is your weakness but you feed it every day
like a moth to the naked flame, you just can’t keep away
you twist the truth and you turn the other cheek
but everybody knows it’s just salvation that you seek

i melted wax to fix my wings
i’ve done all the dumb things

it’s got to be more than flesh and bone
all that you’ve loved is all you own

tell me all that you may know
show me what you have to show

who will come and find you first, devils or your gods?
i say all you demons go back to hell
i’m gonna save my soul and save myself

I don’t want to miss the sweetest, the best, the highest, the most thrilling, the most intense.